Divorce can be a terrible and exhausting ordeal, but sometimes there is no other option. Divorce used to have a bit of a stigma that accompanied it, but in most recent times it is becoming much more acceptable. That, however, does not mean that it is going to be an easy process. Some divorces are heart wrenching, but the end result makes it worth it. Below are some of the worst and best things about divorce.
Some of the Best Things About Divorce
It’s Over
After all the arguing and conflicts are settled and the judge has signed the final documents and the divorce is finalized, there may be a wave of relief. If the marriage was full of wondering whether there might be a fight over something said or something done, it will be amazing to know that you no longer have to tiptoe around. If there were children involved, the process of bonding with them even more can begin.
The Little Things
After a divorce you may start to notice some little things that actually have a good impact. Like realizing you have the bed to yourself now, you can hog all the covers and roll around as much as you want. Getting to get rid of any items you never liked, for example some distasteful furniture or terrible decorations, you can. Should the ex-spouse call you are under no obligation to answer or hear them speak. Waking up and realizing that it is a new day and you have so much to experience; those are things that make it worthwhile to go through the divorce.
Healing Can Begin
Once you are separated, you can begin to rediscover yourself and your passions. It may take some time and maybe even some help from outside sources such as books or vacations, but know that it can be done. If the marriage you were in was not happy at all and all that was given was negativity, being free from that can be extremely liberating. It is here that you find out who is there for you and you feel the support of your loved ones. You can go out and explore, find new friends and feel alive.
Not Hiding Anymore
It is true that no one knows what happens behind closed doors, odds are that if it was a marriage that took an emotional and physical toll on one of the spouses, it was kept from the others. The lying to friends and family about what went on at home is gone. You no longer have to keep the appearance of someone content; you no longer have to feel any shame about your home life. Because now, your home life I what you make it.
Some of the Worst Things About Divorce
Feeling Unwanted
It is common to feel some like you have been rejected while going through a divorce. If there was an argument and some hurtful words were said it is possible that you may still be reflecting on what was said. While what was said may not be true, that may not keep you from feeling like they are. Perhaps you start to believe those are the reasons why you are getting divorced. Then those thoughts start to affect you a bit more and eventually you feel like nobody will want you around. It is common for some people to feel this way but it is important to remember that this is not the case. A divorce can often have an impact on a person’s self-esteem. If this does happen it is good to be surrounded by people that will support you and will not let you fall in some state of deep despair.
Putting up a False Demeanor
Sometimes, while going through the divorce, all you want is to curl up into a ball and sleep the day away. There will be attorney meetings and maybe even court hearing, these can end up leaving you drained. But you still have a life you need to hold on to and sometimes, revive. It is at this point that you embrace the fact that you are going through a divorce and that it might be bad now but know that it can get better. It is important to be honest about what you are experiencing with people you trust. Holding stuff in is a burden and it can also have a physical impact.
Becoming Separated from Some People
Odd are, that after dating and being married for a while, the husband and wife became close with each other’s friends and family. During a divorce, you have to accept the fact that your ex-in laws may side with their son/daughter and stop communicating with you. There are some situations where the parents of the divorced spouse continue to talk to the other spouse but those don’t often turn out well. If the divorce was amicable it might be possible to continue to have the same friends, but even then there still may be some awkwardness at the beginning. If it was an awful divorce the friends may side with the most amicable spouse during the divorce.
The Children
If the divorcing couple had any children while they were married, the divorce is often going to be more complicated. There is the process of figuring out who will get custody of the children, there will also need to be visiting times made for the non-custodial parent, and there will also need to be child support payments figured out. On top of all of these, the impact the divorce will have on the children also needs to be considered. The age of the children may be a factor in how they be affected and react. It is common for younger children, typically under 15, to feel like they are to blame or to lash out. If they are older, odds are that may be more understanding.
Dealing With Who Gets What
During the divorce, if no agreement can be made on how the marital assets will be divided, prepare yourself for what could be a lengthy process. If the spouses are set on trying to make each other pay, there will be a lot of arguing and emotional turmoil. It is possible to avoid this if the divorcing spouses are willing to concede on some assets. If that is not the case there will be lawyers and maybe even judges involved to help settle the matter.
